Wednesday Confessions

 

 

Today I thought I would just write about all the random things going on and confessions into how my life has changed.  Just a fun post looking inside my days lately! :)

 

• It's 12:30pm and I am just now drinking coffee and eating my blueberry "buscuits" granola pack.
• I am peed and/or puked on daily.
• My bed is peed and/or puked in almost nightly during feedings.  What do I do? What any logical mother does at 3am.  I get up, change Tilly, put her down, and go back to sleep with whatever liquid has leaked in my bed.  Hey, it'll dry and I'll eventually get around to washing our sheets.. Don't judge.
• The highlight of my day Monday was when Tilly finally pooped after a 48 hour drought.  Let's just say I was overly excited and then sad about how excited that made me, haha.
• I have spent the last 2 days with cabbage leaves shoved in my bra trying to dry up my milk.  To say I stink is putting it nicely.  Warm cabbage mixed with leaking milk is not the most attractive smell.  Nor is it working yet. I am basically going through self torture right now.
• I wear lounge clothes daily and have worn make-up maybe 5-6 times total since Tilly has been born. If you know me, you know I love my make-up.  If you know babies, you know they can't see you that well so hey, what's the point.
• I still have around 20 lbs I need/want to lose and it can be a bit depressing thinking about the work it's going to take. Considering I spend most of my days on the couch, I probably need to get a plan of how to lose them. Sigh.  My 6 week checkup is next Tuesday, so technically I can't do anything yet anyways. After next week though, this little mama's gotta get in gear!
• I still try to paint my nails once a week to keep myself happy.  It's my thing.  Luckily Lance let's me have a nail night and watches Tilly while I do my manicures.
• My baby is 5 1/2 weeks old and already the biggest sassy little Diva.  I'm not sure how I feel about this.
• Being a parent is hard.. wait, being a MOM is hard.  Man, Dad's have it made. (good thing Lance never reads my blog! lol)  I do understand the saying though now, Being a parent is the hardest, yet most rewarding thing you will ever do.
• Even though my day is completely consumed with a baby, I still have to keep my house clean. (minus the somewhat baby infested sheets).  I do laundry almost daily, still make our bed daily, and keep everything in order.  I may be a bit of a neat freak, and this keeps part of my life balanced.  As she gets older, we will have lessons on cleaning and organizing! :) lol
• I love the weekends when I can make a quick alone trip to Target, but I always am so excited to see my sweet little baby when I get back and miss her even in that small amount of time.
• I am very blessed to have the help of my amazing husband on this journey, even though he can be a bit whiney during overnight time! :)  I am lucky to have all his help since we have no family in the area and are doing this completely on our own day to day.

 

 

 

So basically.. my life is pretty boring and disgusting most of the time, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  A little update from my last post.. we have switched completely to formula as of now.  I was giving a bottle or two of breast milk a day, but realized that was the only time she was mainly puking.  Let me tell you, with 40+ bags in the freezer I suffered pumping out, I am a bit discouraged about where to go from here.  Do I make her drink it, or stick with what's working? Uh. So far she seems to be doing good on the formula.. she only has her puke moments for the most part when we burp her and she tends to spew then.  It is messing with her bathroom routine, but I think that's normal when switching to formula.  She also hasn't had many "colic" nights at all lately.  Fingers crossed this all stays good and I don't jinx myself by writing this! :)  Enjoy your Wednesday as I try to go squeeze in a shower! :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tilly - 1 Month

Since I have no more bumpdates to post, what's the next best thing? Baby updates!!

 

I am a few days late because I wanted to wait on her doctor's appointment today to get her updated info.. so here we go:

 

 

 

Month: 1 - July 21, 2014

Height: 21 3/4 inches.  Ok so when she was born they said she was 21 inches but apparently the hospital just does a quick glance at the measurement test because the next week at her first visit she was around 19 inches? Who knows.  She was 20 inches 2 weeks ago and spiked this time going up to 21 3/4. Who would've thought with her 2 shorty parents?!

Weight: 8 lbs, 1 oz

Diaper Size: Newborn

Clothes Size:  Ok this is weird.  She wears Newborn, but some are way bigger than others.  I can definitely tell the ones that were really big before are starting to actually fit now and some of her pants that fit good before are pretty snug.  But since little missy is so long, her sleepers don't really fit because she can't stretch her body out.  Looks like she will be sleeping in onesies until she bumps up to 0-3 months.

Sleep:  She is sleeping about 2 hours at a time during the day and recently bumped up to 3-4 hours at night.. hallelujah! When she does wake up at night she pretty much just eats and passes back out. Thankful mama here.

Eat:  She is so random on this.  I would say average is 2.5oz but she has been having quite a bit of 3oz bottles.  Then sometimes she only has 1.5oz.  That girl doesn't know what she wants.  She did have her first bottle of formula today and she sucked down 4oz.. so she's been lights out for over 2 hours now!

Likes:  Eat, sleep, and snuggle

Dislikes:  Being changed, if she isn't immediately fed when woken up, Dr Brown bottles, and when the doctor takes her temp.. you know where they do that for babies, right? :(

Firsts:  She had her first bottle of formula today and drank it great. Like I said above, she ate way more than she has breast milk.  We are about to start going back and forth between the 2 for now to see if it helps with her reflux and as I start weaning off pumping. I have quite a bit frozen so she'll get both for a little bit.  She also had her first major through-the-clothes blow out this week.. that was not fun for Daddy who discovered it! haha

Extra Updates:  Well this section isn't going to be the greatest news.  Tilly has had signs of reflux since around week 2 and it is a PAIN.  I feel so bad for her.  Luckily she doesn't have it horrible and is considered a "happy spitter" since so far it doesn't seem to bother her and irritate her throat.  This just means she doesn't need medicine since she's not in pain.  We still have to hold her up for quite a while after she eats in hopes of keeping the food down.  Unfortunately she still spits up and throws up sometimes, even up to an hour later.  We are just pushing through and hoping it doesn't stay around too long.  I bought her the Rock N Play to sleep in which has helped a lot with keeping her at an angle, and we are also hoping to find a good formula that's thicker to stay in her stomach better.

Another not so fun thing I found out today at the doctor is she also has a bit of Colic. AH.  The past week or two she has had some angry spells a few nights a week starting between 9-10pm and lasting about an hour or 2 at the most.  Mostly I can calm her by holding her and walking around, but she is not a happy camper during this period.  I wasn't sure if it was related to the reflux or what, but after explaining it to her doctor she let me know the dreaded word was indeed the cause, Colic.  She did tell me it sounded like she didn't have it near as bad as others, as a lot of babies will scream constantly for around 4 hours and nothing soothes them. So thank goodness for that.  The doctor also said it is normally gone by the 2 month mark, so only one month to go.. yikes.

Will all that being said, she is still a very happy, cuddly baby and the sweetest thing.  If she's not throwing up and it's before 9pm, we are great! :) haha  So as of now we are still just in the baby survival mode taking it day by day.  I get up with her all night since Lance works and I am staying home, so it's definitely exhausting tending to her 24/7.  Thank goodness he helps as much as he can at night before bed and on the weekends.  I am going shopping tonight for my birthday (I need some post-baby body clothes to fit these extra pounds hanging around.. sigh. Hopefully after my 6 week checkup I can get my butt on a good work out routine.) so it's Daddy duty tonight.

Now let's keep this blog real and share a little of my blooper pics when taking her 1 month picture.  This is the reason her eyes are so puffy in the above.. she was NOT feeling her photoshoot, haha  Enjoy! :)

Checking In

Well I have been slacking on my blog lately so I thought I would check in with some random tidbits of my life.  Basically we are still in survival newborn mode and just taking it day by day.  Tilly was 3 weeks old on Saturday and today marks my first full week alone.  All of my family has visited, and I'm not sure when Lance's will get the chance to come.  Of course this has to be Lance's inventory week so he will be working tons of hours and it's on Saturday this month.  So 6 long days.. yikes!

I don't want to jinx myself, but so far Tilly has been such an amazing baby. That girl eats, sleeps, and poops.. all a lot! Her schedule pretty much is about every 2-3 hours she wakes up to eat and then once burped and rocked a bit, will go back down to sleep.. then repeat. (with bathroom breaks in between)  Now last Thursday things started to change a bit and she was SUPER fussy and wanted to be held 24/7 or she would cry hysterically. Of course Lance immediately goes into this intense fear that she has the "purple cry".  What is that you ask? Well it's a terrifying video our hospital made us watch about how your baby can cry 24/7 for up to 5-6 months and nothing you can do will console them.  The video then goes on to let you know this is normal and to not shake your baby or basically go insane, as it will end one day.  Ok, I don't know about you but this is not something I want to watch right before I head home with my new baby.  I get they want you to be aware and also know to please not shake your baby or go insane but.. sheesh!  Thank goodness she could be consoled (mama did not have a good Thursday night or Friday day), and once I googled some and asked the ladies on my pregnancy app I learned that apparently she is/was in her 3 week growth spurt. These tend to happen 3,6,9 weeks and then 3,6,9 months were the baby is really fussy and not their normal self.  She got better as the weekend went on, and seems to be good now.. hallelujah!

This sums up that growth spurt.. I would include one of my face but it was just about the same! haha

 

 

So as of now my day consists of hanging out with Miss Priss, texting my friends a million pictures of her, squeezing in laundry and house work, and if I am really lucky.. a shower and washing my hair.  I had to order some stuff online from Target yesterday because I just had no clue when I would actually get to the store. Of course it was all baby and nursing things. Boy have times changed!  Tonight when Lance gets home I am having a little mommy time and going to get a pedicure and then grocery shopping.. party animal! :)

 

As I type this I hear Tilly getting fussy in her bassinet, so time to start the cycle all over again.  Happy Monday everyone!

 

 

100th Post.. "That Mom"

 

I can't believe I am already writing my 100th blog post! Thank you so much for all the kind words from everyone on my pregnancy journey and also on our sweet little baby girl.  When I found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to document it in some way and I figured this little blog would be the best place.  I wasn't sure how many people would enjoy reading along, and how many would just be annoyed by all the posts!  So for those of you that have read along, don't worry... I will definitely be updating tons on Tilly now that she is here.

 

With that being said, I am officially that mom.  You know, when you see a pregnancy announcement on Facebook and think, "Great.. 9 months of a million belly pictures and pregnancy posts."  Then they have the baby and your next thought, "Now we get to see 100 pictures that look the exact same of this baby that she talked about for 9 months."  Come on, you know you've thought that before. Heck, I know I have.  And now what? It's me.  But honestly.. don't the pictures look a LITTLE bit different? haha  I get it now though, when you are pregnant.. it kind of takes over your life and really it's mostly what you have to talk about. And then you have the baby and you really have nothing else left to talk about or take pictures of! My life is 24/7 baby baby baby.  Of course I am going to take a million pictures (yall should see my camera reel in my phone.. sheesh) and share the best ones for all the world to see.. and get annoyed at.  So I apologize because yes, I am that mom now.  I probably will be from here on out.  I try to limit my pictures to the REALLY good ones, but she is just too stinking cute to hold back.  Maybe one day I will have something else to talk about and take pictures of, but right now.. it's all about the new little Princess. 

 

 

 

I will close out with of course.. a picture of my little firecracker! :)  Happy 4th everyone!!

 

 

 

Tilly's Birth Story

The day I never thought would arrive finally did.. we had our sweet baby girl June 21, 2014. 

I'll start with a little back info to get things going.  I had my 39 week appointment on Wednesday, June 18 and left a little discouraged.  I was still just a little over 1 cm and there was no sign that I would be having her soon.  With that being said, once you are at that stage, the baby could come any day, but with no sure signs I was still a bit let down.  We left our doctor's appointment with another one scheduled for the next Thursday (a day past my due date) and left it as we would discuss options if I made it that far.  A few hours later as we were on the way to the airport to pick up my mom, I started having awful contractions, but they were so random.  They were about 10 minutes long and then would stop for 30 minutes, so not your typical spacing.  This happened most of the way to the airport and on the way home.  I didn't have any Braxton Hicks contractions or any labor signs my whole pregnancy so I wasn't too sure what to think of these.  Luckily for my pain sake, they stopped once we got home and I felt normal, just tired.

Fast forward to Friday.  I hadn't felt anything else since Wednesday night and felt pretty good (as good as you can at this point).  This was Lance's inventory day for the month at work... aka torture day.  My poor husband works so many hours and this day is the worst of the whole month.  He never knows how long it will take, and this month he was at work from 5:30am-11:30pm.  Yes, 18 hours.  I stayed awake all night until he got home so I could see him after his long day.  Once he got home and we all visited for a bit and then got ready for bed, it was around 1:00am.  As we are getting in bed he says exhausted, "Honey, please don't have this baby tonight."  Oops.

Around 1:30am (only 30 minutes later) I wake up coughing really hard.  I got up to go to the bathroom because during the cough I thought I peed some (yes TMI, but that is pregnancy lol). As I was up in the bathroom I noticed I felt really off.  I got back in bed and started having a contraction.  It lasted about a minute and then went away so I thought, ok maybe I am in the clear. Nope, about 30-45 seconds later it came back even more intense and I just knew this was it.  I woke up Lance and said, "I am so sorry but I think something is happening!" haha I just felt SO guilty that of all nights, it was this one.  He half asleep rubbed my back and mumbles, "you're fine just go to sleep." lol poor guy.  Right as he says this I get another contraction and felt a pop so I jump (as fast a pregnant girl can) out of bed and as soon as I stood up my water broke.  Me jumping up woke him up and he leaped up as I said, "Ok this is it.. it's baby time."  From that moment it was game on.  He threw his clothes on and ran to wake up my mom.  I on the other hand, just kind of stood in the same spot wondering how I was going to clean up the floor without making a bigger mess! haha  As they started running around getting ready, we got the floor cleaned, I got dressed, made sure my bag was all ready, and of course, had to make the bed and straighten up the room. I know, I'm weird.  By the time we left around 20 or so minutes later the pain was unreal.  As my mom is driving us to the hospital, Lance is timing my contractions and they are a minute long, every 30 seconds on the dot. I was getting no break.

We get to the hospital around 2:30am and they immediately get me sent back and in the triage room.  The nurse checks me and indeed my water broke and I am at 3 cm. It's baby time!  At some point as she is drawing my blood and getting things ready she asks about my plan for pain, I think I said something along the lines of GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL NOW! haha.  I have never felt pain that bad in my life. I could barely breathe and would just sob through the contractions. Maybe I am a wuss, but the women that go all natural are troopers.. and a bit crazy! :)

Finally around 3:30am I am moved into L&D and hooked up to everything. Since it was the middle of the night, my blood work was checked quickly, my IVs were already going, and it was epidural time.  Normally they wait and do them in between contractions, but since mine were so fast, I just had to get it through them.  As they came in with all the paper work to sign, I scribbled my name in about 1 second and could've cared less that the paper probably had about a million warnings on what could go wrong.  I hunched over, clenched my nurse, and got the most amazing shot ever in my spine.  I honestly have no idea if it even hurt because of the contractions. About 10 minutes later I was pain free and a happy camper.  I will say, I HATED feeling numb.  I was getting so claustrophobic and it took so strong on my right side that is was completely dead and made my skin crawl.  Now, pick battles.. labor pains or numb legs.. I'll take numb legs!!!  After the epidural kicked in and I relaxed a bit, the nurse checked me at 6am and I was close to 5cm.  She said things were going good and I could just relax because now was the waiting game.  I think I took maybe a 30 minute nap and then it was time for the nurses to change.  I must say, every nurse I had there was amazing, and I LOVED my nurse that helped delivery.  She also had a student with her that day and she was the sweetest girl.  They stayed in and chatted with us quite a bit.  Around 8 am she got done changing my bedding and gown (labor is not for the modest or squeamish) and decided she would check really quick and just see where I was. Well holy cow, she looked up with wide eyes and said, "girl, you are at 10cm!".  Lance, my mom, and I all were like.. wait what? Already???  At this point she told me she wanted me to do a practice push and see how the baby was going to do.  She didn't want to come down just yet, so the nurse propped me up and said to let gravity shift her the next hour and then we would try to push.

Around 9:45am she comes back and has everything set up for delivery.  She said she wants to get my pushing started to see how it goes and then will call the doctor in a little while when necessary.  Well, let's just say I pushed for 2 contractions and she had me stop so they could run and get the doctor because Ms Tilly was coming NOW!  The doctor came in and suited up about 5 minutes later, I pushed through 2 more contractions (around 10 minutes of total pushing) and at 10:01 am, our little princess was born.  All day long the doctor and nurses were just amazed and commented on how my labor was so fast and easy and they couldn't believe it.  My theory is, since I was so miserable and in pain for so long during my pregnancy, my labor gave me a break and let me just slide on through! It was honestly such a blur that we all somehow got through on about 30 minutes sleep from the past 48 hours.

1:45am- Water Breaks
2:30am- 3cm
6:00am- 5cm
8:00am- 10cm
10:01am- 10 minutes of pushing and baby girl arrives.

It was such a surreal moment when she came out and they placed her on my chest and I knew just moments ago she was in my belly.  The human body really is a miracle.  It's still so crazy to have her here with us after feeling her grow in side me the past 9 months.  She has to be the cutest baby I've ever seen and is the sweetest little thing.  She loves to snuggle her mommy and daddy, that's for sure.  She LOVES her sleep.. and then to eat, poop, and sleep again. What a life! :)


And now.. a few pictures from that magical day! (and a little snuggle one thrown in).

We love you little bit!



39 Weeks Bumpdate

How far along:  39 weeks- AH!

Size of baby:  Watermelon- 19-22in, 7lbs

Gender:  Girl

Maternity clothes:  Comfy is key for sure! Maxi dresses, or Tshirts and pj shorts (that somehow I can still squeeze my big ole pregnant butt into) are my main attire these days.

Sleep:  Same. The hip pain I have when I wake up is excruciating. It's horrible!! Million potty breaks, as she is completely smashed in my poor bladder.

Symptoms:  Hot, big, so much lower pressure, and lovely shooting pains down LOW.

Miss anything:  Yes, yes, yes

Movement:  This little bit likes to go crazy starting at about 9pm every night. I hope this isn't a sign of her habits on the outside world, uh oh!! and let's just say her movements now hurt like the dickens!

Food cravings:  Nope

Anything making you queasy or sick:  No

Have you started to show yet:   My stomach is OUT.OF.CONTROL

Belly button in or out:   Still all the way in there.  It's very shallow, but never got flat or "popped". Yay! lol

Wedding rings on or off:  Good ole fatty swollen fingers. I tried to put it on the other day and let's just say that was a bad idea..

Mood:  Ready for this baby!

Best moment of this week:  We have the house all in order, some last minute supplies approved from insurance and arrived yesterday.. now we are just waiting on little girl!!

Looking forward to:   My appointment is in about 45 minutes.. I hope we have LOTS of progress.   Also.. my mom arrives at 6:50pm tonight! She'll be here for the next few weeks, so Tilly needs to get here ASAP so we can enjoy lots of help! :) -- But I'm really wishing for a 22nd baby!

Man's Best Friend

 

 

 

Top: Clyde & Bonnie

Bottom: Molly & Ginny

 

 

 

These were my 4 babies for the past few years. The top are my NC dogs, which Lance has had since they were puppies, and I took over as Mommy 3 years ago. The bottom are my MS babies that we've had since they were pups.  Clyde is 15, Bonnie was 12 1/2, Molly was 13, and Ginny is 12.  I knew there would come a time when we would have a sad few years since they were all so close in age and getting old, but I was hoping that somehow they would be super dogs and live forever!

 

 

 

 

You might have seen yesterday I posted we had to put down our sweet, but crazy girl Bonnie. Or as I called her (and Lance hated- Bon Que Que).  This dog ruled the roost.  She was a mean, bossy little thing.  I will admit she made me mad at least once a day with her crazy barking, staying under my feet always tripping me, and her little attitude, but I loved that feisty little dog. She had her sweet cuddly side and she was our Bon Bon.  Her story is a bit harder because we didn't think we were anywhere near losing her.  She might have been close to 13, but this dog could have lived 5+ years.  She was as hyper and energetic as they come. Lance always said she was tough as nails.  About 2 or 3 weeks ago, we noticed that she got super mopey and just wasn't wanting to do anything.  This dog LOVED, and I mean loved, to be on the back deck at night and eat bugs. Yes, eat bugs.  We would turn the light on for her so they would all attract by the door and she would jump up like a bunny for hours and catch them. I know this is weird, but it was her thing! haha  When she got to where she didn't even want to do that, we knew she was feeling rough.  Now she has been on thyroid medicine for years and years, and when her levels get off, she gets this way.  So honestly, we didn't think too much of it.  We scheduled her appointment at the vet since it was almost her yearly checkup time, and asked them to get her thyroid levels.  About 2 days before her appointment, Lance noticed a red lump on her poor little bottom. We just assumed maybe it was a hemorrhoid and heck, that could be what was making her mopey! I mentioned it at the appointment and as the doctor checked it out, he said it was actually a tumor! What?!? Then he found another red growth in her mouth and 2 lumps on her chest.  He took a sample from the lumps and they weren't cancerous, so he just scheduled an appointment for the week later to take the red ones off and didn't seem too concerned.  As that week went on, she got worse and worse.  She wouldn't eat (this was definitely a concern since this dog LOVES food) and then 2 days before her appointment she was constantly throwing up white foam and was wheezing, as we could tell it was hard for her to breath.  By this point we knew it was something bad, but hoped for the best. Also, we found another red lump that had grown within the week in her mouth and her whole body was starting to be covered in hard knots.  When I took her yesterday morning, I informed the vet of all her changes and I could tell then he was concerned.  He said to leave her there and they would do chest xrays first and call me with the results before they did anything to her.  At 10am I got the call that she had a massive tumor in her chest/lungs area and she had a rapid growing form of cancer in her lymph nodes. The spots he tested last week they didn't have cancer cells, now did. We could go to a dog oncologist, or put her down.  Of course I completely broke down and told him we would get back to him after I talked to Lance.  I called Lance and he came home, knowing what we had to do.  We made the decision to put her down as we knew how bad she had gotten and how much she was suffering.  The vet kept her on oxygen all day and with pain medicine, so we knew she was comfortable those last few hours.  As we got there and told him our decision, he then told us he 100% agreed that was the right thing to do. He said never in his years of practice (and he was late 50's/60 years old) had he seen a cancer spread and grow that fast.  The tumor in her chest was already the size of a baseball.  We said goodbye to our sweet Bonnie and brought her home to bury.

 

Losing a pet is one of the hardest things to go through.  It's so weird being here at home today and not have her following me around and constantly being under my feet, or asleep in the room I am in. I feel so terrible for Lance, she was his baby and I know how hard this is on him.

 

 

 

 

We also said goodbye to this amazing dog earlier this year, Molly.  She was definitely getting into the "old lady" dog category, but her death came very quickly too. She got sick and was put down within a matter of weeks as well. I think it was a bit easier that I have lived here for over 2 1/2 years now, so I wasn't in the same home with her anymore, but it was still devastating losing my Molly Bolly.

 

 

Now we have these 2 pups left. Clyde and Ginny. 

 

 

 

Yes, Clyde- our 15 year old OLD MAN dog who cost us almost $2,000 a few months ago when he ate a penny. Clyde, who we never thought in a million years would outlive Bonnie.  This dude is a trooper. He honestly doesn't know who he is or where he is half the time, but he is trucking along.  You guys better hang out, because I can't handle anymore sadness right now! It's still hard to believe Bonnie won't get to meet Tilly.  I thought she would be around a few years with her, and now that I could have her any day, Bon Bon is gone.  Sometimes life just isn't fair.

 

I hope Bon Bon and Molly are playing it up in doggie Heaven together (even though they were both the attitude dogs, so they might not get along haha)!! :) :)